Saturday, May 2, 2009

Dear Women...

My sister and I went to see Britney Spears at Allstate Arena this past Tuesday. She was awesome! We were pleasantly surprised to see more adults there than teenyboppers. The Pussycat Dolls opened the show and they were great! I'd heard good things from friends who've seen their Vegas show, but this was truly amazing. They even performed a song from Slumdog Millionaire. As for Britney, her concert was everything a person could want in a performance...acrobats, ninjas, muscle men, hula hoop girls, clowns (could've done w/o them!), midgets, music, dancing, singing (and yes, some lip-synching, though, watching how much energy she puts into her dancing, you can hardly blame her) and more! All in all, she put on a hell of a show.

It wasn't all fun and games, however, at the Britney concert. Between the PCD opening performance and Britney's, the woman seated next to me started up a conversation. I'd guess her to be about 35. We chatted for awhile and seemed to be having a normal conversation, right up until she asked me when my baby is due!!!!! Yes, you read that correctly. A COMPLETE STRANGER asked me when my baby is due. Let me just state this for the record (I'll even enlarge it and change the color to be 100% clear, since it is apparently not already obvious...):

I AM NOT NOW, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN, PREGNANT!

Geez. All the women out there, I know you can relate to how irritating it is to spend forever contemplating your outfit, hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry & etc., only to have someone make a rude and ridiculous comment like that.

The annoyance of having wasted so much time w/ my (clearly not as flattering as I thought) outfit, however, is the least of my worries. First off, I'd like to know how many other people wondered if I was preggo and didn't say anything. Actually, I bet I don't want to know! Secondly, what kind of moron asks a COMPLETE STRANGER if they are pregnant? And for a woman to ask...that's a double dumbass whammy! Seriously...let's just assume for a second that the situation were reversed, and I was the idiot asking this strange woman about the condition of her uterus. What if this woman just had a miscarriage? Just what this poor woman would want, to have to explain to a total stranger that actually, she was pregnant, but lost the baby. Right. What if she has a tumor? (Yes, I actually do know someone who had a tumor and was constantly barraged w/ questions about when she was due.) What if she can't have children? That's probably the ultimate worst-case scenario, but, I have another friend who is having a hard time starting a family, and if someone ever asked her when she was due, I don't think any court would hold her accountable for her actions.

The BEST- (if there can be a best) case scenario is perhaps this woman just carries her weight around the gut and I've just totally embarrassed her, and reminded her that maybe she's not quite as cute as she thought. Back to reality: this is the category I fall into.

I'll admit, I am NOWHERE near my high school graduation weight, nor am I very close to my college graduation weight (graduation was almost 4 yrs ago, for those keeping track). I have been very irresponsible with my food choices, lack of exercise/movement in general. Not that I don't move at all...I will definitely jump once in awhile...for a falling wine glass. :)

What's the point of all this whining? It's time to do something about it. I don't want to be asked again when I'm due until the day comes when I am actually pregnant. And let me tell you...that will be awhile! But hey, at least I know what 60 extra lbs. feels/looks like...and at least then I will have an excuse! :)

This weekend is my last bad-eating, no-exercising, lazy ass weekend. Starting Monday, I will go back to the South Beach Diet, as it has worked well for me in the past (until I totally ignored all the rules!), and I will be monitoring my progress via Growing On Goofy. Please keep up with me and keep me motivated. My theory is, if I'm already embarrassed by my weight, maybe a public announcement of that big nasty number (my current weight) will be enough motivation to stick with this lifestyle change. Adam is joining me on this plan, only via a modified version for lunches, as it's difficult to cook in a tractor. Hopefully this will make things easier for both of us.

So please stay tuned for Monday's starting weight and a little more about my plan to shed it. Don't worry, I promise not to bore anyone with the details of every meal I eat or mile I walk. No one would read it if I blogged about it anyway! I know I wouldn't.

One final note though...especially for all the women reading this...can we all just band together and PROMISE not to ever ask a woman if she's pregnant/when she is due, unless and until you know this person and are 100% positive she is pregnant? It would save a lot of unnecessarily hurt feelings and embarrassment on both sides. Thanks.

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