WTF is going on around here?

First it was the infamous "shoelace" incident.

Yesterday, we came home from Larry's to a particularly foul smell lurking outside the garage. Bella must have noticed it too because, before we pathetic humans could see where the stench was coming from, Bella ran up to the garage door with a feral dead squirrel in her mouth. LOVELY.

Problem is, Adam threw the squirrel out into the tree line across from our driveway...not 5 minutes later, we were inside and the coyotes seemed REALLY loud all of a sudden. How much ya wanna bet they were in that tree line scarfing squirrel guts? Just great. As if the damn things weren't close enough. 2 weeks ago there was one in the ditch across the street. Those lurking little bastards!

Today, I am forced out of the house because there is yet another mouse problem . A new mouse is in town...visiting the INSIDE of my house...inside of my blanket closet, to be exact. So what do I do instead? Text while mowing the lawn at the old house. I think texting while driving is still ok if you're only driving a lawn mower. Keri says everything is legal in Mason County, so I think I'm ok.

This just in: Adam said I was being cynical. Apparently he has not quite mastered the art of shutting his mouth when he has nothing nice to say. Doesn't everyone want to hear (as soon as your husband walks in the door), "why haven't you cleaned the...I'll shut up now!" He's learning, this one. Slowly, but surely. Sort of like the little engine that could.
Back to cynical me.
After the previous comment about cleaning the raspberries smashed all over the refrigerator, he said I was being cynical. Since I hadn't said anything, I had to ask..."do you even know what cynical means? "

"No."

Welcome to my world.