Moving on down!

199.8! Woohoo! Almost 2 lbs in 2 days; that's pretty good, right?

Today is L-Day (better known as D-Day for most of you). L-Day = Larry's day. Larry's is my favorite local restaurant. They have some food that's actually not bad for you - chicken breasts, salads and burgers - but my main concern is their cheeseballs. Lovely deep-fried, battered, cheese-filled delights w/ a side of homemade ranch. Yum. And, of course, the prerequisite to all meals at Larry's, Captain and Diet Pepsi. Double yum.

I think only fat people can talk about food like this. All the rest of you skinny bitches are probably reading this thinking, "It sounds like she gets a little TOO much enjoyment from this food." And you'd be right. That's why I look the way I do. :)

With that being said, you might think I'd skip Larry's. You'd be wrong. I can pass on the booze...i guess...but I will be eating cheeseballs. Lest this sound like I'm slipping already, let me explain. Aside from the light batter on the cheeseballs...cheese is a-ok on SB Diet. The rest of my normal meal at Larry's consists of salad (no croutons!) and cottage cheese instead of fries...so really, this is one of the places I can actually eat! That's major!

Can't wait to see everyone tonight!

South Beach, Day 1

201.6

TWO HUNDRED ONE POINT SIX POUNDS!

It seems a lot worse when you spell it out.

That is embarrassing.

Now, at the risk that I'm about to offend someone who weighs as much or more than me, let me add this disclaimer:
Any comments made about this number (my weight) are strictly in regards to ME, and should be regarded as such. ME. My height, frame, size, etc. ME. Not anyone else. Me. Ok. :)

Whew. Now I can "tell you how I really feel." Have I mentioned that I think that is one of the dumbest phrases I've ever heard? It annoys me just from a literal standpoint...because whenever someone says "tell me how you really feel," I usually just have. And yes, I get the sarcasm/irony and that that's why people say it. It's still stupid and redundant. Much like this blog some days... :)

So, here's how I really feel:
-Disgusted with myself
-Embarrassed that I let it go this far
-Curious about how long it will take to dump all this weight back off
-Shocked that I have gained 80 pounds since high school graduation. 80. EIGHTY. 8-0. Holy shit! (Granted, as anyone who knew me then can attest, I was so thin that several people thought I might have a problem...so I needed to gain a little weight...guess I took that a little too far, huh?)

I've never read The Secret, but I do believe in the power of positive thinking and "positive self-talk," so I'm done beating myself up about being a lazy fat ass now. :)

In some ways, I'm actually really fortunate that I used to be excruciatingly thin and can remember what it's like. I see so many women who have struggled with weight issues their entire lives, and they have no idea what it's like to have FUN shopping, because things actually fit you, and don't cling to your belly button. (Man does that suck. I am so fucking sick of seeing my belly button through all my shirts, I could scream! There are not enough spanx in the world to hold that sucker in.) Anyway, I imagine it would be extra hard to stay motivated when you have worked so hard for so long and gotten nowhere...especially having no real idea what it's like once you lose the weight. At least I KNOW how much better it will be and can use that to my advantage.

Talking about spanx reminds me...I read an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow after one of her children was born, and she was talking about how she looked so good after having a baby...she was wearing one spanx on top of the other...under EVERY outfit.

Let me reiterate...Gwyneth Paltrow, one of the thinnest women on Earth is wearing two sets of spanx with every outfit. And her photos get airbrushed before we see them. If that doesn't make you feel a little better about yourself, I don't know what will.

Day 2 is coming shortly, pray for me.

Dear Women...

My sister and I went to see Britney Spears at Allstate Arena this past Tuesday. She was awesome! We were pleasantly surprised to see more adults there than teenyboppers. The Pussycat Dolls opened the show and they were great! I'd heard good things from friends who've seen their Vegas show, but this was truly amazing. They even performed a song from Slumdog Millionaire. As for Britney, her concert was everything a person could want in a performance...acrobats, ninjas, muscle men, hula hoop girls, clowns (could've done w/o them!), midgets, music, dancing, singing (and yes, some lip-synching, though, watching how much energy she puts into her dancing, you can hardly blame her) and more! All in all, she put on a hell of a show.

It wasn't all fun and games, however, at the Britney concert. Between the PCD opening performance and Britney's, the woman seated next to me started up a conversation. I'd guess her to be about 35. We chatted for awhile and seemed to be having a normal conversation, right up until she asked me when my baby is due!!!!! Yes, you read that correctly. A COMPLETE STRANGER asked me when my baby is due. Let me just state this for the record (I'll even enlarge it and change the color to be 100% clear, since it is apparently not already obvious...):

I AM NOT NOW, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN, PREGNANT!

Geez. All the women out there, I know you can relate to how irritating it is to spend forever contemplating your outfit, hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry & etc., only to have someone make a rude and ridiculous comment like that.

The annoyance of having wasted so much time w/ my (clearly not as flattering as I thought) outfit, however, is the least of my worries. First off, I'd like to know how many other people wondered if I was preggo and didn't say anything. Actually, I bet I don't want to know! Secondly, what kind of moron asks a COMPLETE STRANGER if they are pregnant? And for a woman to ask...that's a double dumbass whammy! Seriously...let's just assume for a second that the situation were reversed, and I was the idiot asking this strange woman about the condition of her uterus. What if this woman just had a miscarriage? Just what this poor woman would want, to have to explain to a total stranger that actually, she was pregnant, but lost the baby. Right. What if she has a tumor? (Yes, I actually do know someone who had a tumor and was constantly barraged w/ questions about when she was due.) What if she can't have children? That's probably the ultimate worst-case scenario, but, I have another friend who is having a hard time starting a family, and if someone ever asked her when she was due, I don't think any court would hold her accountable for her actions.

The BEST- (if there can be a best) case scenario is perhaps this woman just carries her weight around the gut and I've just totally embarrassed her, and reminded her that maybe she's not quite as cute as she thought. Back to reality: this is the category I fall into.

I'll admit, I am NOWHERE near my high school graduation weight, nor am I very close to my college graduation weight (graduation was almost 4 yrs ago, for those keeping track). I have been very irresponsible with my food choices, lack of exercise/movement in general. Not that I don't move at all...I will definitely jump once in awhile...for a falling wine glass. :)

What's the point of all this whining? It's time to do something about it. I don't want to be asked again when I'm due until the day comes when I am actually pregnant. And let me tell you...that will be awhile! But hey, at least I know what 60 extra lbs. feels/looks like...and at least then I will have an excuse! :)

This weekend is my last bad-eating, no-exercising, lazy ass weekend. Starting Monday, I will go back to the South Beach Diet, as it has worked well for me in the past (until I totally ignored all the rules!), and I will be monitoring my progress via Growing On Goofy. Please keep up with me and keep me motivated. My theory is, if I'm already embarrassed by my weight, maybe a public announcement of that big nasty number (my current weight) will be enough motivation to stick with this lifestyle change. Adam is joining me on this plan, only via a modified version for lunches, as it's difficult to cook in a tractor. Hopefully this will make things easier for both of us.

So please stay tuned for Monday's starting weight and a little more about my plan to shed it. Don't worry, I promise not to bore anyone with the details of every meal I eat or mile I walk. No one would read it if I blogged about it anyway! I know I wouldn't.

One final note though...especially for all the women reading this...can we all just band together and PROMISE not to ever ask a woman if she's pregnant/when she is due, unless and until you know this person and are 100% positive she is pregnant? It would save a lot of unnecessarily hurt feelings and embarrassment on both sides. Thanks.