It's Been Awhile...

Sorry for my many long absences from this blog lately.  The third trimester is definitely taking its toll.

I feel a little bit guilty complaining, because I've had a pretty easy time this whole pregnancy and I know it could be so much worse! 

I don't know what happened but in the last week I've started to feel like I'm literally losing my mind.  It's not just "pregnancy brain," although that is certainly an annoying factor as well.  I've been super moody, tired, physically exhausted, hungry but nothing sounds good, lonely, depressed, sad or a combination of any/all of the above basically every day.  It SUCKS!

Luckily, I had a regularly scheduled OB appointment yesterday and had the opportunity to discuss this issue with a doctor.  Thank God for small miracles.  I honest to God thought I might have a serious problem.  I have never EVER felt this way before...totally out of control, yet lacking any ability to stop my behavior/thoughts.  Those of you who know me will not be surprised to learn that I don't deal well with a lack of control, especially over myself. 

My doctor informed me that between weeks 28-30, your hormone levels are at the highest they ever will be throughout your pregnancy.  In the first trimester, you are not used to ANY hormones, which is what makes you moody, sick and tired.  Then your body adjusts.  The third trimester, you have a huge upswing of extra hormones, so it's kinda like being back in the first trimester all over again.  On the one hand, it's nice to know that I am not crazy but, on the other hand, it's frustrating that I can't do anything about it except wait and hope for the best. 

She also gave me a depression evaluation test.  She explained that anti-partum (before baby) depression is actually significantly more common than post-partum depression, which I didn't know.  It only contained 10 questions, your typical "Have you thought about hurting yourself or someone else?" and "Have you laid in bed at night, unable to sleep because you are worrying?"  No and no.  But then they snuck some in there that threw me off my game a little bit... "Do you blame yourself unnecessarily when things go wrong?"  Hmm...yes.  Absolutely. I thought that was just a personality trait.  Either way, social services gives this test to their clients and typically "red flags" them with a score of 10 or higher.  I scored a 12. 

The OB isn't overly concerned, but does want to keep an eye on it.  After I explained to her that planting season has just started so I am spending quite a bit more time alone, she figured that issue combined with this major hormone swing, is probably contributing to "situational" depression.  It's not something that needs therapy or medication, but she did "prescribe" stress-relief in the form of reading a book, de-cluttering, mani/pedis (that's right ladies!) or whatever helps me chill out.  I suppose I already broke the rules by going to Walmart, but Hobby Lobby sort of cancels it out, right?  So I'm still on track. :)

Hope you guys aren't missing me TOOOOOOOOO much while the Pregnant Express makes a temporary stop in Hormone Heights. 

I promise to be back soon with pictures of all my sewing/knitting/crafting/organizing projects! 

Love you all and thanks, as always, for reading.