You can't make this shit up

Who goes on a diet and gains weight?

ME! WTF?!

202.6 is not a happy place.

I did have a not so good weekend, food-wise, but still...2 days should not be allowed to ruin everything.

I'll keep you all posted on my progress...when there is some! I'm off to clean, and I mean C-L-E-A-N, the old house today...so maybe that will burn some extra calories. Then again...we turned the A/C off at that house, so if it gets to a million degrees inside...I'll probably just quit cleaning and start drinking. Oh well!

Also, I'm not fishing for compliments/suggestions here...just whining. No diet tips today, please. :)

Messages from my mother...

This is the first in what is sure to be a long and eventful series of blogs containing voicemails, text messages and emails from my mother. I love my mom...but she often leaves messages from her dog, to my dog and, best of all, from Jane-land (a place where only Jane can understand what they mean).

Yesterday's voicemail:

This is your mother. I know this might not mean anything to you, since you just moved into a new house, but I just want you to know that I just cleaned my pantry, oven and under the refrigerator. Okay, bye!

She's right. It means nothing. Why do I care about your cleaning, and why do you need to leave me a message letting me know that's how you spent your Sunday afternoon?

She also likes to leave messages about her dreams although, in all fairness, a lot of people do that. I still don't understand why, though. Unless your dream is seriously hilarious or straight up wrong...NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DREAM!!!!! Geez.

Mom always said I should do something with my writing, but I don't think this is quite what she meant... :)