Games Rednecks Play

I love the Sheriff's Report!

Only 3 seriously amusing additions today:

8-16, 12:33 am, Chandlerville: driver throwing fireworks out of car at houses
-Who does that?? I know Chandlerville isn't the height of entertainment, but come on! If this isn't a good example of why parents should spank their kids, I don't know what is. This kid needed a good ass whooping way back when.


8-16, 5:46 pm, Bath: report of possible suspicious activity on a bulldozer
-What could you possibly be doing that is "suspicious" on a bulldozer? This is just weird.


8-16, 6:07 pm, Manito: girls on bicycles messing with caller's mailboxes
-Again...are kids seriously THAT bored?

Also seen in Topeka this afternoon: a man riding his motorcycle with a chocolate lab in the sidecar. Strange...


All information taken from The Mason County Democrat 8-26 issue

The Sheriff's Report Strikes Again

I know people might be getting sick of hearing about the Sheriff's Report, but it brings me so much joy that I can't help reposting.

When I moved to this area, I thought the locals were pretty much anti-police. As these "complaints" pile up, however, I'm starting to wonder if maybe the exact opposite is true.

All of these complaints are taken from The Mason County Democrat's 8-19 issue.

8-4, 11:14 pm, Forest City: prowler or something is smacking the house. (Perhaps a tree branch? I love the prowler "or something" is "smacking" the house. I don't imagine too many burglars --or "somethings"--go around smacking the house to alert you of their presence...)

8-5, 9:02 am, Rural Havana: cows on the road. (Does it mean I've lived here too long if cows on the road doesn't seem like a worthwhile issue for the police to handle?)

8-6, 5:54 pm, Rural Easton: report a man walking on the road. (Again...what's the problem?)


These last few I just think are funny.

8-8 10:07 am, Mason City: theft- an ash tray (Looks like we've got a crime spree on our hands, people!)

8-9 at 12:07 am, Rural Topeka: complaint about people talking (Oh no! Not talking! Those felonious bastards!)

8-9 at 5:57 pm, Mason City: Theft of $20, when the subject was confronted about she was chased with a bat (Ben Folds says, give me my money back, you bitch!)

8-10 at 7:24 pm, Mason City: animal complaint- dying squirrel in yard (There are no words.)

Surely the police officers have better things to do than run the gut wagon, right?

Better Late than Never

My favorite highlights from the 8-5 Mason County Democrat's Sheriff's Report:

- 5 complaints about 4-wheelers or golf carts (including one complaining 4 wheelers were being driven on the road. Is that really illegal?)
- 2 complaints about irrigators spraying on the road (how is this any different than rain? and what are the police supposed to do about it?)

And, of course, the randoms:

-7-23, 5:21 pm, Mason City, complaint about juvenile throwing rocks and urinating in the yard

-7-26, 4:59 am, Topeka, theft- gave a lady a ride home in a cab and now the lady can't pay her.
--First of all, who owns a cab service in Topeka? Seriously! If anyone knows, please fill me in. Secondly, if they're not from Topeka, the nearest "city" is Pekin, which's 30 miles away. No wonder the cab driver was pissed off. That's a $50 cab ride!

-7-26, 1:41 pm, San Jose, found a dog that appears to be someone's pet.
--Props to these people for attempting to help this dog, BUT...why would you call the police for a found dog? Either call the pound, the vet, or the no-kill shelter. The cops have crimes to solve. People are so retarded.

-7-26, 8:13 pm, Manito, complaint that there are juveniles at her house drinking and she wants them gone by the time she gets home.
--WTF? How do you know they're there drinking if you're not home? Did your neighbor call you at work or something? Why don't you go home and kick them out yourself? Who are these people anyway? Are they your kids? Seems like calling the police just adds to the problem.

-7-26, 9:11 pm, Manito, theft-stealing corn.
--This is absolutely random. Who steals corn? Seriously. Also, who has the eagle eyes to see people stealing it out of a huge cornfield? Props to whoever those neighbors are!




(All info courtesy of The Mason County Democrat)