She's at it again

My good friend Marissa Jaret Winokur (referred to as MJK from now on, because that name is too damn long to type) is back with another awesome (and by that, I mean shit-tastic) blog. The article is absolutely ridiculous, but the accompanying photo alone is worth a look.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20294242,00.html

Sorry. It's a little hard to take you seriously in your FLOWER-COVERED CAMO. Dear Lord. She needs a visit to the Ridge, not boot camp. If that doesn't straighten her out, I don't know what will. Then again...the ridge rats pop meth like skittles, so given her track record with candy...she might be screwed.

FINALLY!

More breaking celebrity news, thanks to People.com:

My favorite (and I use that term loosely) people.com blogger Marissa Jaret Winokur's latest post is, as usual, wonderfully intelligent.

She fell off the diet wagon, y'all.

How did this late-breaking news travesty occur, you might ask?

She was setting up a birthday party for her son and had, ahem, GLASS JARS FULL OF CANDY sitting out at her house. But, not only that, she set them out a WEEK BEFORE THE PARTY!

HELL-LOOOO!

Am I really the only one who finds this level of stupidity to be mind-boggling? I've met 5 yr olds smarter than this chick!

I'm no skinny minnie myself anymore but, dear Lord, if I went around eating jars of candy for a week at a time I'd have more rolls than the Michelin Man. I realize I'm going on and on, but I just cannot believe people actually read her blog for inspiration!

Whatever. I'm just glad Walter Cronkite got more coverage than MJ for a couple days.

Stupid Celebrity "News"

People.com is at it again. This time, with 2 irrelevant stories camouflaged amongst actual news.

Here are yesterday's headlines:

-Office Star Jenna Fischer is engaged
-Liz Taylor not going to MJ's memorial because she believes he wouldn't have wanted her to be part of that circus
-The Cruises go to Australia--not necessaaaaaaarily news, but Suri is cute and played with kangaroos, so I can let that one go.

*BREAKING NEWS*

Marissa Jaret Winokur: My Close Encounter With a Minibar

Seriously? First of all, who has a close encounter with a minibar? If I'm near the minibar, it's not a close encounter, it's a drunk encounter. Secondly, this Marissa Jaret Winokur is seriously starting to get on my nerves. French fries, mini bar, watch out here comes the Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahmbulance!

Secondary news headlines:
-Who will perform at MJ's memorial?
-Anna Paquin: Nude scenes easier w/ real life beau (no shit)
-Bret Michaels' tour bus hit in crash
-AI judge Kara DioGuardi weds in Maine

*MORE BREAKING NEWS*
Whose hair cut is hotter: Zac Efron or Chace Crawford? Ok, seriously? HOW DOES THIS MAKE THE NEWS? We can't actually get a list of performers at MJ's memorial because we're too busy voting on whose hair is hotter! Even more ironic is that no dude is looking at this site and going, oh, well, if people.com readers say so, I must cut my hair like Chace if I want to get the ladies!

(If I had to vote, Chace would win, because that retarded pomade-bangs-to-the-forehead thing Zac's got going on is greasy and ridiculous.)

Celebrity gossip...wow.

I love celebrity gossip, but even I can recognize when it's nothing more than random gossip to fill the pages of People, Us Weekly, OK or whatever magazine. Today's "Latest News!" on People.com (as of the last time I checked):

Ryan O'Neal asks Farrah Fawcett to marry him

Judy Reyes of Scrubs is expecting

Matthew McConaughey and girlfriend are expecting second child

Chris Brown given probation

Farrah Fawcett back in the hospital

Gosselin divorce papers filed

Ok, so we've got 1 marriage proposal, 1 divorce proposal, 2 babies en route, a criminal sentenced and a very famous actress on what is likely her deathbed. All legitimate celebrity news.

Then we have the last "latest news!" of the group:

Marissa Jaret Winokur TRIES to say "no" to fries

Seriously? Is it THAT slow of a news day? The "Craigslist killer" had to appear in court today, but we are talking about an actress who was on Dancing With the Stars putting down the McD's fries?

By the way, I think it's a pretty sad indication of where our country's programming is headed when they mention that Marissa has been on Dancing With the Stars and is the host of the new program "Dance Your Ass Off"...but no mention of her Tony-award-winning role in Hairspray.